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Osama Bin Laden and Bush meet up in Afghanistan for the
first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three
buttons on the side of Osama's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes Osama presses the first button. A boxing
glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush
carries on talking as Osama laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time boot comes out and kicks Bush
in the shin. Again Osama laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off
the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the
privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning
well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Afghani group. "We'll finish these
talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Osama flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit
down, Bin Laden notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's
revenge. They begin talking and George presses the first button.
Osama ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second
button. Osama jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.
When the third button is pressed, Osama jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush
falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.
"Forget this," says Osama. "I'm going back to Afghanistan!"
Bush says through tears of laughter, "What Afghanistan?
Entertaining airline attendant announcements
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight safety lecture and
their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have
been heard or reported:
1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, pilot
said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down
the cabin lights to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
2. On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If
you are going to leave anything please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
3. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this!
Airplane."
4. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the
business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
5. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came
over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
6. A flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening
the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has
shifted."
7. From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YY!
Y. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It
works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you
probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
8. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling.
Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child
traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling
with more than one small child...pick your favorite.
9. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have
them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money,
more than Southwest Airlines."
10. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency
water! landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
11. "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area.
Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children... or other
adults acting like children."
12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left
behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave
children or spouses."
13. "Last one off the plane must clean it!"
14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The
flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know
what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the
pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault ... it was the asphalt!"
15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy
and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After
an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome
to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain
taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to
please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship
into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to
stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for
flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time
looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?"
The little old lady asked, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew
have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt,warning bells are silenced, we'll open the
door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks
for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting
through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
20. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising
altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking! Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los
Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful
flight. Now sit back and relax -- OH MY GOD!" Silence followed and after a few
minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm
so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me
a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my
pants!"
A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing, he should see the back of mine!"
Two men, both billionaires:
One develops relatively cheap software and gives hundreds of millions of dollars to
charity.
The other sponsors terrorism.
That being the case, why is it that the US government has spent more money chasing down
Bill Gates over the past ten years than Osama bin Laden?
Wow! That really is a good question.
I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This apparently was a real
memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness... It went to
all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite
serious. The engineers rolled on the floor! (Especially note last sentence)
Replacement of Mouse Balls:
If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball
replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit).
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only
be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the
mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal
procedures differ depending upon the manufacture of the mouse. Foreign balls can be
replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off
method.
Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in
sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum
customer satisfaction.
Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing
and replacing these necessary items.
'Twas the night before christmas
'Twas the night before christmas, and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me - we had nothing to do.
The gentiles were home, hanging stockings with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Chanukah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren't any concerts to go to that night.
A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.
Outside the window sat 2 feet of snow;
With the windchill, they said, it was 15 below.
And while all I could do was sit there a brood,
My girl saved the night and called out: "CHINESE FOOD!"
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots -
To cover out heads, our hands and our foots.
We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down,
And boarded the T bound for old Chinatown.
The train nearly empty, it rolled through the stops,
While visions of wontons danced through our kops.
We hopped off at Park Street; the Common was bright
With fresh-fallen snow and the trees strung with lights,
We crept through "The Zone" with its bums and its thugs,
And entrepreneurs selling ladies and drugs.
At last we reached chinatown, rushed through the gate,
Past bakeries, markets, shops and cafes,
In search of a restaurant: "Which one? Let's decide!"
We chose "Hunan Chozer," and ventured inside.
Around us sat others, their platters piled high
With the finest of fine foods their money could buy:
There was roast duck and fried squid, sweet, sour and spiced,
Dried beef and mixed veggies, lo mein and fried rice,
Whole fish and moo shi and shrimp chow mee foon,
And General Gau's chicken a ma po tofu...
When at last we decided, and the waiter did call,
We said: "Skip the menu!" and ordered it all.
And when in due time the food was all made,
It came to the table in a sort of parade.
Before us sat dim sum, spare ribs and egg rolls,
And four different soups, in four great, huge bowls.
And chicken wings! Dumplings! and Beef Teriyakis!
The courses kept coming from spicy to mild,
And higher and higher toward the ceiling were piled.
And while this went on, we became aware
Every diner around us had started to stare.
Their jaws hanging open, they looked on unblinking;
Some dropped their teacups, some drooled without thinking.
So much piled up, one dish after another,
My girlfriend and I couldn't see one another!
Now we sait there, we two, without proper utensils,
While they handed us something that looked like two pencils.
We poked and we jabbed till our fingers were sore
And half of our dinner wound up on the floor.
We tried - how we tried - but, said truth to tell,
Ten long minutes later and still hungry as hell,
We swallowed our pride, feeling vaguely like dorks,
And called to our waiter to bring us two forks.
We fressed and we feastered, we slurped and we munched;
We noshed and we supped, we breakfast'd and lunched.
We ate till we couldn't and drank down our teas
And barely had room for our fortune cookies.
But my fortune was perfect; it summed up the mood
When it said: "Pork is kosher, when its in Chinese food."
And my girlfriend - well... she got a real winner;
Her's said: "Your companion will pay for the dinner."
Our bellies were full and at last it was time
To travel back home and write some bad rhyme
Of our Chinatown trek and to privately speak
About trying to refine our chopstick technique.
The MSG spun round and round in our heads,
And we tripped and we laughed and gaily we said,
As we carried our leftovers home through the night:
"Good Yom Tov to all - and to all a Good Night!"
Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last
minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas
season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car
up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I
might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance.
As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing.
The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old. He was short and
thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the
cold night's chill.
Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand. Thinking that he had
gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong. He told me his sad story. He
said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and four sisters. His father
had died when he was nine years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full
time jobs. She made very little to support her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed
to skimp and save two hundred dollars to buy her children Christmas presents.
The young boy had been dropped off, by his mother, on the way to her second job. He was to
use the money to buy presents for all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus
home. He had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred
dollar bills and disappeared into the night.
"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked.
The boy said, "I did."
"And nobody came to help you?" I wondered. The boy stared at the sidewalk and
sadly shook his head.
"How loud did you scream?" I inquired.
The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"
I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help.
So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.
GOTCHA!!!!!!!!
Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where
are their priorities?
Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do
you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a
bad dog?
Dear God, If we come back as humans, is that good, or bad?
Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon
and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the schnauzer across the street!
Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns,
clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?
Dear God, May I have my testicles back?
Welcome back to the Rat Race... hey Guys, it's an American
thing!! Its so true...........
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the
Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long," answered the Mexican.
"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the
American.
The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those
of his family.
The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my
wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks,
play the guitar, and sing a few songs...I have a full life."
The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You
should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you
catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money
the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you
have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can
negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant.
You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New
York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise."
"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the
American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling
stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?"
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast,
sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta, and spend your
evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.
I have recently been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.!
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...
This is how it goes: I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice
the mail on the table. Ok, I'm going to wash the car. But first I'm going to go through
the mail. I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail and I notice the
trash can is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trash can out,
but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first.
Now, where is my checkbook? Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my
desk. Oh, there's the coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for those checks. But first
I need to put my coke further away from the computer, oh maybe I'll pop it into the fridge
to keep it cold for a while. I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye, they
need some water. I set the coke on the counter and ooh oh! There are my glasses. I was
looking for them all morning! I'd better put them away first. I fill a container with
water and head for the flower pots - - Aaaaaagh! Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen.
We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd
better put it back in the family room where it belongs. I splash some water into the pots
and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down
the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do?
End of Day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the coke is sitting on the
kitchen counter, the flowers are half watered, the checkbook still only has one check in
it and I can't seem to find my car keys! When I try to figure out how come nothing got done
today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!! I realize this is a serious
condition and I'll get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail...
Please send this to everyone you know because I DON'T REMEMBER TO WHOM I'VE SENT IT
It's the first day of school in Houston and the teacher thought she'd get to
know the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.
The first little girl says: "My name is Mary and my daddy is a postman."
The next little boy says: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a mechanic."
Then one little boy says: "My name is Jimmy and my father is a striptease dancer
in a cabaret for gay men."
The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but later in the school yard
the teacher approaches Jimmy privately and asks if it was really true that his
Dad dances nude in a gay bar.
He blushed and said, "I'm sorry but my dad is an accountant for Arthur Andersen
and I was just too embarrassed to say so."
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an
assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of
it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One
time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the
pickup when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke
and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we
raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they
hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story, don't count
your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story, Sarah."
"Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a
flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over
enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a
machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she
landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with
the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with
the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare
hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy
tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the F*ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY:
Day 181
8:00 am - Oh Boy!
Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am -
Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am -
Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am -
Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am -
Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon
- Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm -
Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm -
Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 pm -
Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 pm -
Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day 182
8:00 am - Oh Boy!
Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am -
Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am -
Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am -
Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am -
Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon
- Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm -
Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
1:30 pm -
Oooooooh. Bath. Bummer!
4:00 pm -
Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 pm -
Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 pm -
Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S
DIARY:
Day 183
My captors continue to
taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Day 184
Today my attempt
to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and
repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.
Day 185
Decapitated a
mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what
I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed
and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working
according to plan.
Day 186
I am finally
aware of how insane they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water
torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called
"shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is
the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
Day 187
There was some
sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass
tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due
to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.
Day 188
I am convinced the other
captives are flunkies and may be informants. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the
other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Some of these are Gross but it's still amusing. Go to them here.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The
rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit mcuh porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe.
Amzanig huh?
Sheriff Joe just re-elected
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO - HE IS THE MARICOPA COUNTY SHERIFF
AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER.
THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona) who created the "tent city jail":
He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.
He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights.
Cut off all but "G" movies.
He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city
projects.
Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for
discrimination.
He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that
required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the
Disney channel and the weather channel.
When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot it's
gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.
He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.
When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you
don't like it, don't come back."
He bought Newt Gingrich' lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the
jails.
When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied
that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in
his jails in the first place.
More on the Arizona Sheriff:
With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set
a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a
barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been
given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.
On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk
beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before.
Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests
and dripped down to their pink socks.
"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived
in the tents for 1 ½ years. "It's inhumane."
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started
making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit
sympathetic He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "It's 120 degrees
in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full
battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"
Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot
less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their
crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and
commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and
enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.
If you agree, pass this on. If not, delete it.